Monday, May 13, 2013

Cure Your Democracy Today for 99 cents

There’s an epidemic sweeping across America but no one’s taking it seriously. The infected look like normal Americans, at first, but then they open their mouths and foreign words leap out known only to inhabitants of their special nation: left coaster, mama grizzly, Obamacare, drill baby drill; or neocon, glass ceiling, teabagger, I didn’t inhale.

Drop the word “multiculturalism” and half of them will have an immediate allergy-like reaction. Their faces will turn red with fever as they glide away from you. Drop the phrase “lamestream media” and the other half will cringe and hold their brow with a splitting headache as they back away from you.

These otherwise normal Americans are obviously suffering from something. The author in this pioneering book has discovered what that is: severe, extremely contagious viral illnesses that are plaguing the entire country. He reveals here in layman’s terms the infection, spread and treatment of these viruses. They make us insanely ill and susceptible to conspiracy theories, and are so easily passed between individuals by speeches, handshakes and karaoke.

He discovers Viral Media is not just a figurative expression. One morning an infamous radio personality spouts off a misinformed, belligerent opinion. By that afternoon the author’s research subjects are repeating it with the same fever and refudiation. The viral words of the opinion had infected them and seemed to have taken possession of their minds like some voodoo zombie incantation.

No one is safe and many are contaminated. Treatments are provided so that they may become virus free and regain the ability to associate with those “other” Americans—those infected with the opposing virus.

If you are tired of the partisan arguing in our great country, this book is guaranteed to lift you to higher ground and make you LOL. 

From the Publisher
If the status quo of politics-as-usual causes a profound need in your brain for levity, this book is meant for you. It satirizes both camps of the finger pointing, bumper sticker mentality, while offering thought-provoking vantage points to view them.

As partisan passions grow ever more heated under America’s current political climate - further intensifying global warming - the rancor of debate becomes more foul and repelling. The narrator is a fictional researcher who has discovered the cause of this: highly contagious, heretofore undiagnosed viruses that plague the entire country. This tongue-in-cheek metaphor provides for the perfect examination of what ails America. It also allows the narrator to give satiric diagnoses and hilarious observations which are a most effective medicine for its remedy. 
He reveals here in layman’s terms the infection, spread and treatment of these viruses. He interviews many of the fictionally infected incorporating various stimulants - such as burning the American Flag or watching Fox News - to measure the viruses’ parasitic effects. He discovers individuals consumed by viral illness in which they believe Pollsters to be scantily clad dancers who use polls to hold onto while they strip tease and seductively ask what your opinions are. Others believe Women’s Liberation was actually women breaking free from their prisons of suburban boxes filled with torture instruments of stoves and ironing boards, chained to Electrolux Vacuums and glued to daytime soap-operas.

Viral media is true. People really do become infected. No one is safe and many are contaminated. No need to worry as the author provides treatments that America sorely needs if it is to become well and regain its sense of red-blooded humor.

Humor is an essential treatment for the condition of Democracy.

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